Blogs

May 23, 2018

Making Amends Probably Won’t Go the Way You Expect

Making amends is an important step. It shows the people you’ve hurt that you regret hurting them. More than an apology, it shows you are willing to make some sort of effort or sacrifice to put things right. It’s also a way to move past guilt and shame. Instead of beating yourself up for all the terrible things you’ve done, you actually try to make it better. Those feelings of guilt and shame can no longer fester.

May 22, 2018

Does Adderall Really Improve Productivity?

Adderall has a reputation as a drug for overachievers. Every semester, students take Adderall to help them finish term papers and study for final exams. People working overtime use it to help them meet deadlines. The problem is that Adderall is basically prescription meth. Using it to get an edge at work or in school can lead to escalating doses and possibly addiction. Some people consider the risk worth the reward. Does Adderall actually make you more productive?

May 21, 2018

Is Alcohol Addiction an Allergy?

There is a belief in AA that alcohol addiction is an allergy. This stems from an explanation in the Big Book about why some people are incapable of drinking alcohol in moderation. Dr. William Silkworth describes alcoholism as an allergy in ‘The Doctor’s Opinion’.

May 18, 2018

What is the 13th Step?

The 13th step is when a member of a 12-step group who is well established in recovery makes sexual advances on a new member. This is strongly discouraged but does happen occasionally. 12-step groups are informal and any regulation must come from the members themselves. Some group cultures are more permissive than others, and unless someone does something illegal, there’s really no one to appeal to. As a result, 13th stepping is sometimes a problem.

May 17, 2018

How to Tell Your Family You’re Addicted to Drugs or Alcohol

It’s not easy to face the possibility you have a problem with drugs or alcohol. When you do finally accept that you need help, you may face a new challenge: telling your friends and family. How do you tell the people who care about you that you have a problem with addiction? What will they think?

May 16, 2018

In Addiction Recovery, Focus on Small Wins

When you’re recovering from addiction, there’s no shortage of advice about how to stay sober. People will tell you to exercise every day, eat healthy, get plenty of regular sleep, go to 90 meetings in 90 days, start meditating, make sober friends, and so on. Most of the advice you get from therapists, doctors, and fellow recovering addicts will be useful in some way, but it’s also a lot to take in. It’s even harder to incorporate all of it into your life.

May 15, 2018

Can I Work the Steps if I’m not Religious?

People who are considering attending 12-step meetings are sometimes put off by the idea of a higher power. 12-step proponents often point to the loophole in step three that they ‘Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him’. As we understood Him--see? Nothing religious there. That could mean Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and possibly even Hinduism. And Buddha is a god, right?

May 14, 2018

3 Ways to Build Empathy in Recovery

Empathy is a useful trait to have in recovery. It helps you support others and get out of your own head. It makes you more willing and eager to be of service. Empathy for the people you’ve hurt helps you make amends by showing people you understand what you put them through. Empathy also helps you let go of resentments and anger, as you can better appreciate other people’s perspectives. Most people have some degree of innate empathy.

May 11, 2018

How to Identify a Resentment

According to the Big Book resentment is the main driver of addiction, especially to alcohol. Carrying resentments makes you angry and self-destructive. You attribute your problems to others, who you believe are out to get you. As the Big Book puts it: ‘Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.

May 10, 2018

How Keystone Habits Can Simplify Recovery

When you first get sober, you are faced with a conundrum: You have to make several major changes at once to maintain sobriety, but trying to make too many changes at once often results in failing to make any changes. How do you make the changes you need to make and still have a reasonable chance of success? The answer may lie in what author Charles Duhigg calls ‘keystone habits’. When you establish a keystone habit, other parts of your life improve without any special effort.